Oh brother. This is ridiculous. I wish I could just scream. Did you ever feel like nothing in your life was really the way it was supposed to be? Like maybe you stepped into someone else’s life and everything felt wrong somehow? I’m anxious, but not nervous. I guess you have to be a little on the anxious side to understand where I’m coming from. It’s like I can’t sit still. I have to be moving, and typing doesn’t count unfortunately… I worked over 12 hours today, yet I didn’t type as much as I do in a “good” 8-hour day. Every little thing that happened sent me off on a tangent in another direction. Plus, from being at the computer most of the 12 hours, my neck feels like it’s made of steel and I can hardly turn my head. I have a feeling it’s going to be one of “those” nights. My friend called me from New York tonight and I bet I sounded like I was on speed. I couldn’t shut up. Cripes. I’ve got to find some means of channeling this energy for good and not evil! <grin> I even talked to my dad on the phone for almost an hour that never happens. I mean, I love my dad and everything, but an hour?
I know part of the problem is related to my sister. (Not bitchsister – I love her…lol!) My other sister and I have always had a rocky relationship – at one point we went about 4 or 5 years without even speaking to each other. We buried the hatchet at her daughter’s wedding almost 2 years ago, but I’m starting to feel like the hatchet was buried in my head. Plus, she’s doing some things that are exactly legal and she’s dragging my dad into the whole mess, which really upsets me. No, it doesn’t upset me, it pisses me off and I’d like to wring her neck! Ugh. I hate the feeling that we’re on the verge of not speaking again, but I don’t want her drama. I don’t need her drama and I’m worried about my dad. To top it all off, I found out she lied to one of her boyfriends about being with me the other night – when she certainly wasn’t – and that really really ticks me off. I’ve told her more than once that I’m not going to judge what she does. She’s 45 years old and obviously old enough to make her own decisions, but don’t lie to me. Do what you want, don’t tell me if you think I’m going to disapprove, but don’t lie to me. She not only lies to me, but she lies about me. sigh Ramble, ramble, ramble. I wish the weather would get warm and springy in a hurry so I could take a dog out for a walk and maybe work off some of this whatever it is.