Monthly Archives: March 2007

Oh, so you expect a title?

Yesterday was Bill’s funeral.  I cried. A lot.  I’m not surprised really, I totally expected that I’d cry more, so that went well, I thought.  Funny story actually.  The more I think about it, the more I think it was Bill pulling one of his practical jokes from beyond. 

There were hundreds of people there, Omaha cops, Council Bluffs cops, all the friends and family (Bill had 5 brothers and sisters), absolutely HUGE.  The funeral procession was huge too, you would think anybody you could figure that out.  You would also think that some people had never been in a funeral procession before.  Mel and I were in the line to leave the church and we get to the first stop sign and the truck in front of us stops to let some people cross the street.  While a sheriff is waving her to go on through, she stops, lets the people cross, waves at them… while Mel and I sit there and tap our fingers waiting to go on… By the time we get around the next corner to where the traffic light is there’s a funeral process escort car blocking the intersection so we can all get through, but the light was turning yellow, so the truck stops!  What the hell?  The escort car takes off, apparently thinking it’s the end of the procession.  Clearly not.  There were about 40 cars behind us.  We tried and tried to catch up to the procession, but just as we’d about get to it, we’d get a red light, and since we had no escort to block traffic we couldn’t take the light.  We got to one point where we lost sight of the procession entirely – and had no idea where to go.  The cemetery is actually a little rural cemetery out in the country and we had never heard of it before.  So I called 911.  Hey, that’s what they’re there for, right? Didn’t help though.  We finally found the procession and eventually did end up at the cemetery, and it retrospect I think Bill was probably laughing his butt off at all of us freaking out because we were lost!  Or maybe he waited until we got lost trying to find the other church assembly area where the luncheon was held…. Hmmmm. 

We got home, I started to work, and found I had no motivation.  I had to stop to keep crying.  (geez, I’m such a wuss).  Anyway, I stopped at 5 to watch the news because for some reason Channel 7 had been at the cemetery and I wanted to see what they had to say.  Here’s the video, just in case anyone else might want to see it.  🙂

Anyway, no motivation last night.   I did work for about 5 hours and then decided I was just to done in emotionally to get anymore done.  So I went to bed about 11:30. 

This morning though, oh yeah.  I woke up having an anxiety attack.  I hate when that happens.  The elders were coming over to do their wash so I let them in, they went downstairs and I went into my room to have a slight nervous breakdown.  By the time Steve came home for lunch and they were gone I was a total wreck.  What I wouldn’t give for some nice anti-anxiety medication.  I could just pop one or two, (or ten on a day like today) and be totally calm.  LIke there is such a miracle drug.  I ended up going back to bed and getting up about 1:15, after having some pretty wicked dreams.  So now my whole day is wonky and I feel just off kilter.  Great.  I wonder how long this is going to go on.  I really don’t know what else I can do.  I’m not even sure what’s going on at this point.  I mentioned in my post the other day that I had some ideas, but I’m not really sure.  I may really have to break down and see a therapist.  Oh, but I so do not want to do that. ..

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Goodbye friend

Well, I knew it was coming, and I’m still sad.  My friend, Bill, died this past weekend.  On the 1-year anniversary of his dad’s death.  The “I believe in forever” part of me thinks his dad came to get him and end his suffering.  The normal pessimistic side of me says it sucks that 4 kids under the age of 17 lost their dad in such a horrible way.  Cancer is ugly and it does not allow you to die in dignity, that’s my humble opinion. 

Anyway, even though I haven’t worked with Bill in over a year, I will miss him.  I’ll always remember how proud he was of his kids and how he loved to show off their new pictures.  I’ll never forget when his oldest, a little boy, was born.  His feet didn’t touch the ground for weeks!  He was so proud.  His billfold bulged with new pictures constantly.  He was a great husband.  When he and his wife lost a baby he took time, a lot of time, off work to spend with her because she was having such a hard time emotionally.  Yes, I know, that’s what good husbands do, but still…  I remember playing an ancient Jeopardy game on the computer late in the evening towards the end of our shift.  He was smart!  I even have to laugh when I think of the way he used to shut the door when he’d get calls from informants, not really funny, and totally professional, but I still laugh to think how often Abbie and I would be talking about something and all of a sudden he’d comment from the other room.  He’d been so quiet we had forgotten he was there! I liked the fact that he liked country music too, and didn’t give us a lot of grief when we’d turn the radio up at night when everyone else was out on the street. 

I quit working for the city for several years and when I came back Bill was working downtown.  The first thing we talked about was his kids! He had to get out his billfold and show me all the new pictures!  He was a character and I’ll certainly miss him. 

All of that being said, for some reason I can’t quite put my finger on, I’m especially sad at his passing.  Maybe because he had the same type of cancer my grandfather died of when I was 6, which started this whole anxiety merry-go-round that I’ve been on for the past 44 years.  Maybe because he was just a couple months older than my husband and once again mortality is slapping me in the face.  Maybe it’s the fact that another police officer I knew passed away this weekend and that makes 4 people I know who have passed away just this year and I’m just depressed over that.  Maybe I just know Bill would have been a wonderful grandpa and I’m mad/sad that he’ll never have that chance.  I don’t know.  Maybe it’s because it’s spring and I always have anxiety and depression in the spring and fall, who the hell knows.  I just know I’ll miss my friend. 

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On this day in 1904

My grandpa Erikson was born.  Happy Birthday, Grandpa!  I miss you!

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Ya gotta wonder…

…why our new neighbors would tie a paintbrush on their tree.   (I would post a picture I took, but I can never get pictures to post on this darn blog.)   Why would they do such a thing?  It’s just an ordinary paintbrush tied about 10 feet up the tree with a piece of rope encircling the tree.  ??? Welcome to the neighborhood.

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Has spring finally sprung?

I’m a weather junkie.  I admit it.  BTW, I’m totally jazzed on the Weather Channel’s new interactive radar, totally cool!  You can use the scroll on your mouse to move closer and closer until you can actually see your neighborhood and where the rain is.  Cool. 

Anyway, I was checking out the Weather Channel online tonight (why yes, I do have a very exciting life, why do you ask?) and I see that there could be potential severe weather here tomorrow.  Woo hoo!  Spring is here, spring is here!  I love thunderstorms.  Love them.  I’m certainly not making light of the severe weather/tornados that have killed so many early this spring, but for me at least thunderstorms signal the end of winter.  And I’m so ready for the end of winter.  BRING ON THE WARMTH!!!

I gave Jojo and Ben baths today.  That Ben is soooo funny.  I lathered him up and then scratched his sides to scrub him down.  He could hardly stand still with all the squirming and oooooooo’s and mmmmmmmm’s.  I’ve never heard a dog carry on so much!  Jojo just stands there like a bath is better than a beating, but not much.  But he smells so much better.  Doesn’t care much for being brushed through.  His tail had a lot of snarly snags that I couldn’t brush out so they had to be cut out, which he wasn’t happy about, but he looks so cute!  Every time I have a longhair dachshund I swear I’ll never have another, and then….. Oops, another one has come to live with us.  We’ve never had a wirehair dachshund before, I’d like to have one of those sometime too…. No, not right now.

 It’s looks like we’re all finally over the creeping crud that was hanging over the family since last week.  Steve finally went back to work today.  One more day home and somebody was going to get hurt. 

 The house was a total disaster last night so I tried to talk to him about maybe pitching in a little and picking up after himself.  Ha!  I might as well have been asking him to hire himself out for….. well, whatever.  Immediately he gets defensive, no matter what I say.  I think I started out by saying, “I really could use some more help around the house, I’m having a lot of trouble keeping it up”.  His response, “Oh.  Like I never do anything around here”.  Sigh.  Yeah, it went downhill from there.  Meg had an idea.  She said I should just stop picking up after him and take pictures every day so we can track his “progress” or lack thereof.  Haha!  Good idea. 

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Filed under Fur kids, Life in General

Why, why do I read this stuff?

In People magazine today Tori Spelling is quoted as saying, “motherhood rocks”.  Oh haha!  Ha ha HA!  I don’t know this for a fact, so I probably shouldn’t say anything, but I rather think that what Tori Spelling knows about motherhood could be written on the sharp end of a pin!  Do you mean to tell me that with all of her money she actually “mothers” her child.  I seriously doubt it.  Which kind of started me thinking… (uh oh….)

How many “stars” really mother their children?  I guess I should be politically correct and say “parent” their children, to include the men.  Even though I’m of the opinion that mothers do 90% of the parenting anyway… But, that’s not the point.   I know when you work you hire babysitters, yada, yada, yada… That’s not what I’m talking about. 

I’m talking about getting up after you’ve just gotten to sleep with a puking 12 year old, I’m talking about waking up in the middle of the night with a wet diaper in your face, bandaging bloody knees, mediating sibling rivalry (or best-friend rivalry), making dinner the majority of the time – and being there to eat it with them, being there for a hug and kiss at bedtime, loving chocolate, Kool-Aid, or mud-flavored kisses, wiping snotty noses and dirty bums… That’s what I’m talking about.  Do you mean to tell me that the majority of the “stars” of Hollywood do that?  I doubt it.  Seriously… Can you picture Tori Spelling cleaning up after a baby has had explosive diarrhea all the way up to their armpits? Me either. 

 Well at least they can blame the nanny in years down the road when the kid doesn’t turn out the way they wanted.  Heaven knows there have been times when I would have liked to blame the nanny. (Hey!  Close that door!  Where you raised in a barn?!)  Then I remember- I didn’t have one. 

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Yay for the “Fat Penguins” of the world

I read this article in the Omaha World Herald today.  

LINCOLN – An Omaha Westside high school student went beyond mere juvenile behavior when he called a fellow student “fat penguin” and other names, threw food at her and tripped her with a chair, the Nebraska Supreme Court said today.

The court ruled that the boy, identified only as Jeffrey K., violated Nebraska’s law against stalking.

“The cumulative effect of Jeffrey’s words and actions, and the extensive, ongoing and escalating nature of his conduct clearly show that Jeffrey intended to intimidate the victim in this case,” the court said.

Jeffrey was 16 at the time of the incidents, which occurred from September through Nov. 4, 2004, at Omaha’s Westside High School, according to court documents.

He was tried in Juvenile Court, which found that he had violated the state’s stalking law.

The Supreme Court’s ruling today overturned a decision last year by the Nebraska Court of Appeals. The majority of the appeals court concluded that Jeffrey’s actions were done for his “own juvenile amusement” and did not constitute stalking.

One appeals judge dissented, saying the “fact that Jeffrey found his behavior amusing does not justify the conclusion that Jeffrey did not intend to intimidate the victim.”

The high court agreed with that dissent. It said the evidence showed that Jeffrey intended to intimidate his victim and that his actions would have intimidated a reasonable person.

“Jeffrey yelled at his victim close to 200 times, in front of her friends and other students at school. Moreover, he threw food at her and shoved a chair directly in the victim’s path, causing the chair to hit her,” the Supreme Court said.

The girl in the case testified that she had tried to avoid Jeffrey because of his actions, including moving to another part of the lunchroom. She also said she felt “emotionally very badly” and “very put down.”

Under Nebraska law, stalking occurs when a person “willfully harasses another person with the intent to injure, terrify, threaten or intimidate.”

In its decision, the Supreme Court said Nebraska law differs from some other stalking laws that require evidence a person’s behavior actually placed the victim in fear.

You bet behavior like this is intimidating.  I’m glad there’s a law against it.  I wish more people who are bullied in school would use this law to their advantage.  I’ve been out of high school for… Um, well, a looooooong time.  Over 30 years, and I’ve never been to a class reunion because of stuff like this that went on when I was in school.  I was constantly the butt of the fat jokes.   Me and several of my friends who hung around together.  You know what’s really funny?  I wasn’t fat in high school, I wore a size 12!  But you know, if you’re not a size 2 or less, you’re fat.  I’m glad this girl was vindicated!  Fat penguin, indeed!

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