Mean People Suck

Sometimes I’m astonished at how mean-spirited people can be.  Not just anonymously, of course it takes a brave person to be mean anonymously, but the people who can be right in your face and make you cry, and never bat an eye.

 I had to go to the hospital for a metting today and was talking to one of my friends that I work with.  Since we’re all home-based, we only get to see each other every 3 months or so for deparment meetings and every other month for transcription meetings.  Anyway, this friend of mine has a baby girl, not quite a year old, who was diagnosed with Turner Syndrome shortly after birth and has had open heart surgery to correct some cardiovascular problems.  She has the mosaic type, so she won’t have many of the problems that some children with Turner Syndrome will be affected with, and after consulting with a geneticist, she and her husband are fairly certain that their daughter can have a normal life expectancy.   That being said, a few weeks ago this co-worker was actually working in-house and talking with some other people who hadn’t known that her daughter had Turner’s.  Our boss overheard her talking to the other employees and came over and joined in the discussion.  She immediately told the other employees that this child would have severe learning disabilities, never be able to have children, blah, blah, blah.  My friend tired to interject that her daughter has the mosaic type, which is less severe and would probably be fine, at which point our boss interjected, “Back in the day when female children had Turner syndrome there were sterilized so they could never have children since their children have a 50/50 chance of passing on the gene”.  By this time my friend was in tears she was so upset.  Did the boss apologize, or even realize that she was hurting my friend?  If she did, she certainly didn’t show any sign.  Didn’t apologize, nothing.  And if I know her, she was probably feeling very smug because she’s was so “knowledgable” about Turner’s.  She’s the type of person who knows everything about anything and doesn’t hesitate to share her knowledge.  I just marvel that someone could be so cruel.

 Then tonight I found out through a friend that a blogger she knew of also had to put a doxie to sleep within the last few days.  Since I know I she felt, and I love doxies, I went to her blog to express my sympathy.  She had posted several pictures of her doxie and one, which I thought was really cute, showed the dog with her head in an ice cream carton.  Dachshunds may be short, but they’re mighty scavengers and I’m sure this had once been in the trash!  I went to the blog comments and couldn’t believe it when the first poster told her that the dog probably would have lived longer if it wasn’t so fat from eating ice cream and obesity kills.  For Pete’s sake!  This girl just had to put her dog to sleep you moron!  And being the brave “man” that he was, he signed his name but didn’t leave a link.  Just a hurtful, spiteful comment when this person was hurting.  I hope it made him feel better.  Asshat. 

 I hate mean people.  I really do.

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3 Comments

Filed under Life in General

3 responses to “Mean People Suck

  1. Kyla

    I know how your co-worker was feeling that day. My 2 year old daughter also has Turner Syndrome and I spent more than a few moments in awe of a hurtful comment made by friends and strangers. There are two kinds of mean—those who don’t know better and those who don’t know when to shut up. The first category is no less hurtful, but you feel a little more forgiving for someone who speaks out of lack of knowledge than for someone who has the knowledge and still chooses to voice their opinion.
    I was in Walmart when the cashier took me by surprise and said, “Oh, she has that thing like my friend’s daughter has.” At first I had no idea what she was talking about—as my daughter has very few outward signs of Turner Syndrome. She then said, “I see her neck is wider right there” as she proceeds to point out my daughter’s neck for everyone in line to see. I was in shock, but her words continued despite the obvious look of horror on my face. “Yep, she has that thing right?–can’t ever have a baby and she’ll be super short and stuff.” My anger grew more when I heard my 2 year old say “can’t have a baby.” Obviously, I have never discussed this sensitive issue with my daughter due to her age, but I was furious to have her first awareness, however slight it was, happening in this way. I somehow kept my composure thinking that she was finished, but she wasn’t. Her next comment was, “When my friend was pregnant and they found out the baby had it, the doctor said she should kill it. Good thing she didn’t because she’s not dumb or anything and she’s even pretty cute.” I replied with one sentence . “It is called Turner Syndrome. Please tell you friend that there is a organization here in Kansas City that she would really get a lot of support from.” Then, I walked away and cried all the way home. Now, I know that some people are mean, others are ignorant to common kindness. I know that these things happen and will happen again and again. I hate the thought that my daugther will ever be confronted with such situations, but they are inevitable. I will just work to arm her with composure and dignity in those moments. She is amazing-she is brilliant and she is a miracle. It’s just too bad that people don’t take the time to see those facts before they speak. Thanks for acknowledging what happened to your co-worker. Some people like to turn their head and pretend they didn’t see it happen—other’s like you, do the right thing: take time to recognize the pain that someone felt. There should be more people like you.

  2. Bitchsister

    Oh yes, I am familiar with mean people. I was told growing up and all through high school how fat I was. No kidding! Like I don’t have a mirror and don’t face it EVERY DAY! I’m 40 now and still have a horrible self image. Thanks to all of those “mean people” who don’t know when to SHUT UP!

  3. Meg

    I don’t know how many times I simply said, “I hate people” when I was volunteering with the animal rescue in Virginia. Seeing things that people did to their pets…things that they allowed to happen to their pets…

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