Monthly Archives: January 2007

What did I spend my money on before I had 5 dogs?

I went to the pet store tonight to get a “few” things.  My heck!  I spent $131 before I knew what hit me.  I got another dog bed – $49 (but it matches my sofa!), 2 belly bands (which were both too small so I have to take them back.  Don’t believe it when they say “small” fits a dachshund up to 15 pounds.  Liars.), 2 packages of DentaBones, a camo kerchief for Ruger that says “Ha! Now you can’t see me” (I know, not necessary, but FUN), and 2 bobos.  Oh, and a box of “diapers” for the belly bands.   Then tonight we had a major dog fight over the bobos.  I took them away for the night – kind of reminds me of when the kids were little and I had to take their toys away to keep them from fighting.  Ben is still mumbling in his sleep at the injustice of it all!  Silly boy.  Johan is having his teeth cleaned on Monday – thank heaven – we can hopefully get rid of his latrine breath.   I have never smelled such bad breath in a dog.  Ick.  By then I should be broke.  Again.  Oh well, at least these things are getting done.  All the dogs need dentals, luckily February is dental month at the vet’s, 15% off.  I just couldn’t wait even a week more for JoJo.  Rank doesn’t begin to describe the horrible odor that comes from his mouth.  And he loves me.  He loves to sit on my lap and gaze at me and breathe that horrible stench in my direction.  Ugh.  He’s such a sweet little guy, I really adore him, but I just don’t have the stomach for it any more.

Ben is coming out of his shell more and more.  He’s starting to play with the toys.  He’ll carry a couple, one at a time to some secret place then he comes in the living room and lays down on the dog bed.  You can hear the wheels start to spin about 10 seconds later.  “What if Ruger (Heidi, Buttercup, or JoJo) find it?”  Better move it.  So he gets up, gets the toys and moves them all back to the living room.  Then he lays back down.  “Oh no!  I put them out in plain sight!  What was I thinking!?”  Then he gets up and moves them again.  This entertains him for hours.  Finally he’ll realize that one of them squeaks and then he has to do what Charlie used to do, squeak, squeak, squeak, squeak, SQUEAK, squeak, squeak… But he has fun, so that’s what it’s all about. 

 Everyone else seems to have settled back into their daily routines, realizing that Ben and JoJo are here to stay.  They’ll even lay down with the “interlopers” for a bit before coming to their senses and going to find somewhere else to be comfortable.  It will all work out, I’m sure.  I have to admit, it’s very rewarding (for lack of a better word) to adopt rescue dogs.  I miss having puppies around, but I don’t miss the housebreaking (well, we do have a little problem now and then, but nothing like a puppy!).  I don’t miss the chewing.  And I really think these old rescued ones are just so darn grateful to have a place to call their own that it makes me feel good to give them a good warm home, soft beds, and good food.  That’s the least I can do for all the love I get in return. 

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The Weird Herald needs a proofreader

Out local newspaper is pathetic, just pathetic.   These were in the obituarites just today.  (Don’t even go there.  I already read the obituaries.)

Young, Jeffrey (Memoriam)  
The family of Joseph Barber (passed away December 28th (Who?) would like to thank everyone for the beautiful flowers, cards, and prayers.
Published in the Omaha World-Herald on 1/17/2007.
Langley, Estelle Batts  
Life Care Center of Elkhorn will have a Memorial Service on Thur, 1/18/07, at 3 pm to remember the residents that passed away during October, November, and December 2006. All family and friends are welcome.
Published in the Omaha World-Herald from 1/17/2007 – 1/18/2007.

Stella M. Koch  
Life Care Center of Elkhorn will have a Memorial Service on Thur, 1/18/07, at 3 pm to remember the residents that passed away during October, November, and December 2006. All family and friends are welcome.I’m thinking maybe both of these should have been under Life Care Center of Elkorn – especially since both of these ladies also had obituaries under their names.   D’oh!

Johnson Sr., Herman R.  
 JOHNSON-Herman R., Sr., age 79yrs, 1/15/07. Survived by wife, Betty J. Johnson; 4 sons,
Artes, Maurice, Jeffrey, Omaha, Herman Johnson, Jr., Madison, WI; 3 daughters, Denise (Joel) Scales, Karen Adams, Omaha, Avis (David) Roper, North Brunswick, NJ; sister-in-law, Casey Jo Allen, Seattle, WA; 11 grandchildren; 3 great-grandchildren; nieces, npehews, other relatives.
VIEWIGN after 4pm Thurs. MASONIC RITES 7pm Thurs., Mortuary. SERVICES 2pm Fri., Salem Baptist Church, 31st & Lake Sts. Interment Family Plot, Forest Lawn Cemetery, with Military Honors by VFW Post No. 2503. THOMAS FUNERAL HOME
3920 N. 24th St. 453-7111
Published in the Omaha World-Herald from 1/17/2007 – 1/18/2007.
Jensen, Sally D.  
JENSEN-Sally D. passed away at her condominium in Qmaha (Omaha, maybe?) on January 8,2007. Age 64, she was born February 5, 1942 at the Blair Hospital. Predeceased by her parents, Alton and Eleanor Jensen. Sally is survived by her brother, Larry D. Jensen and his wife Noriko of San Mateo. CA and Tokyo, Japan. Also surviving are her nephews Dirk, his wife Dawn, and Nels Jensen, niece Brooke Jensen, grandnieces Bailey and Claire Jensen, and grandnephew Cole Jensen, all of the San Francisco Bay area. Numerous cousins are also Sally’s survivors. A local memorial service for Sally will be announced in late March or early April. CROSBY BURKET
SWANSON-GOLDEN
Colonial Chapel
11902 W. Center Rd. 333-7200
Published in the Omaha World-Herald on 1/17/2007.

I know there was another typo in one of these, but now I can’t find it.  Geez people.   This is the LAST thing this family has to remember these people, could you possibly get this right? 

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Blue Monday and Thank God for Propane

I’m freezing.  Seriously.  I think my hands were blue earlier.  It’s like 9 below zero.  What the heck?  Mother nature is certainly the jokester isn’t she?  We have fall and winter, all the way into mid-January with above normal temperatures and then – BLAMMO!  She socks us a good one.  With not enough snow either, I might add.  My office, my home office, where I should be nice and snuggly warm no matter the weather… Yeah, it’s freezing.  I have Steve’s proapne heater in here to make it bearable.  I can’t type with numb fingers.  I can’t type anyway, so what difference does it make… I can hear you now, bitchsister!  But the smell of the propane… I’m wondering if being warm is really necessary! 

I’m really looking forward to going to bed later this morning. We got 2 new down pillows at Younker’s yesterday.  I about swallowed my tongue, DH actually paid $130 each for them (but they were 50% off).  Now I feel guilty there are a bunch of poor naked geese wandering around, but I love my down pillows.  AND I got a pair of flannel sheets (snuggly!) for only $19.99, regularly $90!  What a deal.  Now if I could just get the FIVE dogs to realize they’re dogs and they don’t have to sleep with me when DH goes to work, maybe I’d have a good night’s (day’s) rest!

The sisters and I went to a visitation tonight at the creepiest funeral home in Omaha.  It has neon signs outside with the name of the mortuary on it.  Oh yes, it does.  Creeps me out every time I drive by it.  But, the mother of one of sister #3’s friends passed away and since they used to live down the street from us, all three of us (sisters 1, 2, and 3) went together.  It wasn’t quite as bad inside as I expected (the funeral home I mean, not beintg out with my sisters), but I’ve never been to such a viewing where everyone was laughing.  Everyone.  Then sister #3, who has the tattoo, had to go in the bathroom with her friend’s husband to show him her tattoo… Don’t worry, his wife went too.  LOL!  What IS this world coming to?  In a funeral home no less.  And then, the parking lot is about half a block from the stupid place and it was freezing.  I wore jeans.  I know I’m the first one to be offended when anyone else wears jeans to visitations, etc., (really, show some respect will ya?), but after all, it was so freaking cold I sure wasn’t going to wear a dress and I have no dress pants, so… Jeans it was.  It was still icy, and the long walk… I know the funeral home was probably just trying to drum up business…

Death always seems to come in 3s doesn’t it?  Not always famous people, either.  The mother of a friend of mine also passed away this weekend, and I read in the paper that another girl I used to work with died of pancreatic cancer this weekend.  That’s 3.  That’s enough.  Finis!

On a brighter note (much)  Elder Woodfield’s mission is over and his parents came out to go home with him.  Isn’t that cool?  They came over today for lunch, so we got to meet them before they had to go.  They were really nice – as if I expected anything else.  I had a nice talk with his mom while the men when to go look at the woodstove (men!).  Hope they had a good flight back to Utah, and that it wasn’t delayed too long.  This storm is really hanging on over the eastern part of the country now.  Bah. 

After they left, I slept right though the vet’s appointment.  Again.  For the second time in a week.  We’re going to try again for Friday.  I hope I make it.  I have to get something for JoJo’s breath.  It’s the most vile thing I’ve ever encountered.  It’s bad!  Sister #2 says it smells like  garbage truck in the summer, and I’m not saying what Sister #3 said.  But I think she was closer to the real target!  Ack. 

 Bizarre dreams while I was sleeping, but that’s for another post, I have to get back to work. 

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Being on call sucks and other thoughts from the weekend

I’m on call this weekend for the first time since starting to work for the hospital.  From midnight on Friday until midnight on Sunday.  Which, for the normal person would probably not be a problem.  However, I don’t sleep.  I think I’ve mentioned this about 10,000 times, but I have to have Ambien to sleep.  I’ve been up since 4:30 Friday afternoon.  I’m so tired I can’t see straight.  I’ve taken a couple breaks because I felt tired.  However when I take the opportunity to go downstairs, thaw out by the woodstove, and catch a nap, I sleep for all of about 20 minutes.  Eh.  I’m planning on taking an Ambien tonight and to heck with it.  Of course it’s slippery outside, snowing/sleeing, whatever,  which means there will probably be a car accident or two after the bars close and the hospital calling needing an H&P because the patient is going into surgery.  I’ve told Steve he’ll have to get up with me to make sure I don’d nod off at the keyboard.  And only the HIPPA regulations are keeping me from letting him read anything I may type to make sure it makes sense. 

Cold. Too freaking cold.  I know, it’s Nebraska in January, but what a cruel joke to play when it’s been so nice and warm all season.  If we have to have cold can’t we at least have snow?  A lot of snow.  Enough to close down work for everybody through Tuesday at least.  Not gonna happen.  Seems the Weather Channel was right after all.  Grrrrr…   Although it isn’t really a surprise.  (Note to self, move to Denver before next winter.) 

Anyway, I’m sitting here with a blanket over my lap and my space heater on, and Steve’s Leinenkugal cap on my head to keep the heat in (hey, it could work).  But my fingers and toes are still numb.  I’m going to give up and go to bed.  Being on call sucks.

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And Charley is what?

From the KETV-Channel 7 website.

 OMAHA, Neb. — Even though KETV NewsWatch 7 Meteorologist Chuck McWilliams is on duty in Iraq, he was able to watch his family grow here in Omaha.

Chuck watched by webcam as his wife Lisa gave birth to a baby boy on Friday.

The couple named their son Charley.

He’s six pounds, 15 ounces, and a little more than 19 inches long.

Chuck and Lisa also have two children.    (And what is Charley?  A chimpanzee?  Maybe Cuck and Lisa have 2 other children?)

I love this website, they screw up stuff all the time. 

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Singing fish?

When I make typographical errors I seem to be obsessed with marine life.  And I’m not talking the “We’ll make a man of you” marines either.  Semper Fi! 

Tonight while typing several EGDs I’ve been typing vocal cods instead of vocal cords.  Maybe that’s just a variation of having a frog in your throat?

Reminds me of when I worked at the police department and for some reason I could not type “rescue squad” always ended up as rescue squid.   I wonder how many reports I typed that way that never got caught?  LOL! 

My biggest blooper by far though also happened when I worked at the police department.  Whenever Nebraska plays in a bowl game the wonderful citizens of Omaha – and the drunken brawlers all seemed to congregate at the corner of 72nd and Dodge in the Crossroads Mall parking lot to celebrate the victory (or wallow in defeat).  One year when we were going to go to the Orange Bowl I worked at the Northwest Precinct, which included the aforementioned mall area.  My captain was planning on taking a few days off and asked me to write a letter to all the merchants at Crossroads Mall and in the adjacent area, along with the mall management, letting them know we were going to have an Orange Bowl contingency meeting to plan for any problems that might arise with the festivities.  (The previoius year some drunken reveler had actually punched a police horse in the face- idiot. I wish the horse had taken a chunk out of his shoulder, or better yet, taken the hand off at the wrist.)   Trusting soul that my captain was, he told me to go ahead and sign the letters with his name and get them mailed out since the date for the meeting was rapidly approaching.   I’d done this in the past with no problems.  However, this year, I was also doing medical transcription and my fingers obviously had a mind of their own. 

When my captain came back to work Monday and found a copy of the letter in his inbox, he came into my office and asked in all seriousness if “orange bowel” was a common disease.  I had no idea what he was talking about, until he showed me the letter where I had advised every merchant within a 6-block radius of 72nd and Dodge that the Omaha Police were holding an “Orange Bowel contingency meeting”.  Not once, but through the entire letter I referred to the event as the Orange bowel.  I was so embarrassesd, I could have fallen through the floor!  He got a good laugh out of it, God bless him.  He had quite a reputation for being a real PITA, but we never had any problems getting along.

 As an addendum, I guess this stuck with him too – I ran into him a year ago at the airport where he was working security.  He asked me if we’d had any more problems with Orange bowel infecting Omaha.  There are some things that no matter what you do, you’ll never live down.   

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Weather Channel versus Omaha meteorologists

Here’s the story… Our weather persons (no way am I going to spell meteorologist again) have been saying for 2 days now that we’re going to have “significant snow” between Saturday and Sunday.  It’s supposed to start snowing tomorrow we’ll have an inch or 2 and then it’s supposed to stop until Sunday when it’s supposed to start again with a total accumulation of 6-8 inches.  Woo hoo!  I’m all for it!  Bring it on. 

 Then I check the Weather Channel tonight.  We have a chance of “snow showers” tomorrow and only a 40% chance of snow on Sunday.  What the heck?  Who’s gonna win this coin toss?  Maybe the local guys (and gals) are right.  After all they did predict this ass freezing cold that came in last night and has made me want to hibernate by the woodstove the rest of the time. 

 Cold.  Yes, it is cold.  In my office I have a space heater because I’m always cold.  Always.  Usually if I shut the door in my office within an hour the heater is registering 83 degrees (that’s not the actual room temperature, I have no idea what actually is 83 degrees, but it’s comfortable).  Tonight it’s been on for 4 hours and hasn’t gotten about 74.  I’m freezing.  My fingers are blue, and that doesn’t make for good typing.   I may need to go get the propane heater.  Yes, I do want snow.  No, I don’t want any more cold.

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