In Primary today I was getting everything together to start since I'm conducting this week and Chantal was doing the roll as we waited for the inevitable stragglers. (You think with church starting at 3 p.m. that people could be on time wouldn't you? Well, you'd be wrong.) Chantal said "Oh, Autumn won't be here anymore." Well, that wasn't really a surprise because Autumn had only been to church one time that I could remember and that was just a couple of months ago, but then Chantal said, "Her mom died". You could have knocked me over with a feather. Last summer we were going out and meeting with the inactive kids and their families and when we went to visit Autumn and her mother, I really liked her mom. I just could feel a kind of kinship there. She was a single mom and I kind of got the feeling that she wasn't in a great relationship at the time. Just with my experience in being an abused (ex) wife, I kind of got those same vibes from her, but she didn't really say anything. She told us that she'd like to come to church more, but she was having seizures more and more often and they were trying her on a new medication and so she hoped that would help. Autumn was so sweet, she showed us some paintings she had made and that she had her own Book of Mormon, and we gave her a little bank to save her money for tithing (or whatever!). I thought the visit went really well, and I really liked her mom. Then, like I said, she was at church a couple of months ago. After Primary was over I went to her in Sacrament meeting and told her I was really glad to see her in church and how great Autumn was, and she said she'd try to come back sometime. Well, apparently she won't be coming back. I feel awful. I really feel like I should have done something more. The bishop asked us to visit with those families of inactive kids, but that's all we did. We didn't really follow up. I could have asked them if they need a ride on Sundays since her mom was having problems with the seizures. I could have just gotten to know her, because I really liked her – but I didn't take the time and now it's too late. I feel like dirt. Her family didn't belong to the church, I kind of get the feeling they didn't belong to any church, so I don't know what will happen to Autumn now. I guess she went to live with relatives in Indiana or somewhere. I looked up her mom's obituary this afternoon when I got home from church and it looks like she died in late April. There was no visitation and no service. That's terribly sad, I think. I wonder if she's buried here or what. I may call the funeral home tomorrow and ask. I'm just really feeling bad. No, that's Bad, with a capital B. I so feel like we didn't do all we could and now the opportunity is lost. At least I hope this can be a learning experience for me – and us as a primary.