Sadness

I talked to Amber tonight for quite a bit.  She’s my niece who got married last April.  Her mother-in-law is dying of cancer and she’s upset.  I’ve only met Joann a couple of times, at Amber’s shower, the wedding, and the day after when Amber and Jason opened their gifts, but I really like her.  She’s a typical Italian lady, loves good food and having a good time.  She’s only in her early 60s.  I think this will be especially hard for Jason.  Joann and Joe had a couple kids early on and then a couple kids later, and Jason is part of the “second family” – his brothers and sister are all quite a bit older than he is and his dad passed away several years ago from scleroderma, so now at the tender age of 25(?) he’s about to lose his mother.  How sad for him.  She had surgery today, they were going to remove part of her colon because she’s been having such bad abdominal pain, but they couldn’t do anything since the entire abdominal cavity is filled with small tumors.  A couple weeks ago they gave her 3 months, but now they’re thinking only weeks.  Jason and Amber are really sad about the fact that they have no kids and their kids will never know their grandma and grandpa – but especially grandma since she seemed so healthy!  She was looking great at their wedding last April – just smiling and happy, I really enjoyed talking with her.  She’s gone from 145 pounds to 98 because she hasn’t been able to eat because of the abdominal pain – they’ve been giving her supplemental nutrition in the hospital and she’s up over 100, but still she probably won’t keep that on if she goes home.  The older kids don’t want to tell her how little time she has left because they feel she’ll give up. I tell you what, if it was me, I’d want to know.  Let me grieve for the grandchildren I’ll never see and the graduations and weddings I won’t attend, but then let me live what time I have left the way I want to live it.  That’s how I feel anyway.  I can’t speak for her.  Amber says she’s a pessimist and she’ll just give up.  The older kids want to try everything to try and stop the cancer.  At this point I think they’re in denial more than Joann is.  When you’re terminal there isn’t much more you can do.  It kind of reminds me of Phyllis.  The night before she died she wanted to go to California and try some experimental therapy by some quack she had read about.  (You have to know Phyllis – this guy was definitely a quack – but you couldn’t convince her!  When Steve checked up on him this Dr. Whateverhisnamewas, Steve found out he wasn’t even and MD, but a veterinarian!  Oh god…)  Anyway.  I’m sad now, hearing the news.  It isn’t fair that this has to happen.  But, I guess that’s one thing I’ve learned in almost 49 years.  Life isn’t fair. 

Advertisements

Leave a comment

Filed under Life in General

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s